also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
