well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize