Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
