we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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