My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
