i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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