smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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