Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize