Me too!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
