I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
True strength comes from lack of pants
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
