those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
