dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
