the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
