i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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