apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize