I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize