Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
