I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
