that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
