How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
