i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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