Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
