And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
