I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My dick has a subreddit
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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