he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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