Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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