One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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