I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
