After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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