if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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