bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You left your phone here
Wait...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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