You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
