she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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