u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize