Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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