Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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