Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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  (803): I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy http://tfl.nu/msis
  Replies (76) Good night (6295) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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  (317): He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death http://tfl.nu/foc2
  Replies (6) Good night (3234) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5313) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.

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  (609): I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad. http://tfl.nu/4fga
  Replies (11) Good night (3097) Bad night (1887) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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  (804): They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones. http://tfl.nu/bfce
  Replies (18) Good night (891) Bad night (4306) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2814) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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  (201): at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was http://tfl.nu/89k6
  Replies (21) Good night (3198) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.

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  (416): All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out. http://tfl.nu/i1g0
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (1539) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

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  (219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k
  Replies (4) Good night (1618) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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  (707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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  (601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht
  Replies (5) Good night (1847) Bad night (485)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street.  Hello 29...

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  (614): Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. ?Hello 29... http://tfl.nu/5t6y
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.

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  (415): Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/2d02
  Replies (8) Good night (1025) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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  (425): The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned. http://tfl.nu/65g6
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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