Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.