so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.