Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
