eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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