she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
