just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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