he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize