we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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