Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
