My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
