Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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