I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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