He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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