So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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