It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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