Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
