Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
