Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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