hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
