I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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