think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
