I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm passing your future prison.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
