So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.