I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.