There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
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while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants