I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
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Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.