White coat. Heels.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
