if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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