i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I skipped work to stalk him.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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