i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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